Beyond the Grave
by Shini02
Summary: Oneshot. Vows are important, but often they are hollow. Josh Guthrie reflects on his own unspoken vows while standing at Julia's grave.


**Disclaimer:** Don't own. Never have. Never will. Marvel owns. Not me. Theirs.

**A/N:** Written for LJ's 30angsts.

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**Beyond the Grave**

When you say "until death do us part," you're supposed to mean it with everything you are. Very few people have the courage to take those words and mean them these days. Whether it's because they're afraid of actual commitment, or the fear of withering away with only one person by their side, I don't know. Tell me, what is so wrong with living your life with one person alone and dying by their side? I personally think it's romantic, but that might just be the poetic Romeo in me talking. And my opinion doesn't make much difference in the world, anyway.

My eyes trace the words carved onto the marble slab in front of me. Everyone's gone home now, her burial just ended. But I couldn't leave her, not yet. All of this is still so new, despite the fact it happened a few days go. I still can't believe she's actually gone... The cold, hard truth is in front of me though, literally. Her gravestone is almost hypnotic, I can't look away from it. No matter how long or hard I stare at it though, it's just as hard to accept. Just as hard to believe.

My family finds it hard to believe I still felt for her even after we were seperated for so long. It is kind of hard to believe, since we were just kids when we 'fell in love'. But childish and innocent attraction turned out to be a lot more. It turned out to be a love that not even the years of seperation could diminish. In fact, the years made it grow stronger. I wrote songs about what we shared and what I hoped to share with her in the future just to release some of the tension. And when I saw her in the crowd, when I saw her reaction to the words I had written just for us, I knew she felt the same. She had that same need to express herself reflecting her eyes.

Julia and I... we never said any vows. We never had a chance to. Sure, we said our 'I love yous' and kissed with the kind of passion you only see in movies. But we never promised to die together, or even be there when the other died. It's funny the way things worked out, and unspoken vows were so suddenly taken. When we were found that morning by her father and I was a hair away from true death, everything changed. She took my body to the bottom of the pond where we embraced death together for a short time. Had circumstances turned out differently, I would have gladly stayed within that embrace.

Damn that healing factor. When I woke up under the water, with her body against mine, I felt a fear I had never felt before. I knew she was gone, I could tell by the way her body lay so beautifully still in the water, even when I brought us to the surface. It wasn't long before I tried to embrace death again. Only to be rejected time after time. Death wouldn't take me, and I couldn't live without her. Fate was a cruel one.

We never said any vows. Never made any promises. But even so, she was there when I was holding onto life by a very fine thread. I was there when she died, and I even stayed by her side after death had taken her from me. I'm even by her side now, staring hard at the cold stone in front of me at the head of the freshly covered plot. "Until death do us part," I whisper hoarsely, running a hand over the stone now. Those words are hollow. But not because I don't mean them, oh no. Given the chance, I would have gladly died by her side when we were old and gray. They're hollow because it's not 'until death'. I won't stop loving her, even though she is gone. Our bodies may not be able to reach the other's again, but I will always have her memory and that's enough for me to feel connected to her.

I will take time, but I will move on. I won't forget her though, God no. I can't forget someone as amazing and wonderful as her. And forsake me should I ever stop loving her. Forgive the romantic in me, but even all those years ago, she had me at hello. You don't forget love like that, it's impossible. Your first love is never your true love, that's what they say, anyway. I dare to differ. I'll find other loves, maybe even marry one day, but she will always be that one true love.

We may have died together, but in the end, death refused me, keeping her for himself. I wouldn't have let her go either, had I been the Reaper. She's something else. But even so, I have to tell her, "beyond death," I say and smile sadly at the grave. We will be together again, when my life comes to an end. Whenever that may be. And... "If fate chooses so, I'll love you better after death, pretty Julia."

-End


End file.
